Amy is a recognized NSA-certified communications technology
expert, speaker, author and blogger. She holds a BA in Journalism and an MA in
Communication Studies / Human Communication Theory. She is also a Certified
Speaking Specialist, a designation from the National Speakers Association
achieved by less than 1.5% of all identified speakers worldwide.
7 topics to avoid if you lack to avoid drama at this
year's gala dinner
I thought this year I would get a boost in blogging on the
holiday theme so we could all be ready to find joy in a season that can be
stressful at times. First of all, let's talk about a holiday like Thanksgiving,
which is just around the corner! Family vacation gatherings should be a time to
come together, enjoy great food and drink, and most importantly, celebrate the
“cause of the season”. However, for many families, vacation reunions don't turn
out to be the idyllic events they hope for because:
To avoid family feuds this holiday season, here are seven
conversations you should never start (or allow yourself to participate in) at
upcoming holiday gatherings:
1. Any conversation that compares siblings, cousins or
grandchildren and portrays someone in a negative light. These conversations
only serve as separation when your goal during the holidays is to unite!
2. Negative comments on owner's menu choice or someone
else's cooking technique. "Well, when I make the garnish, I NEVER put
celery in it." You know? Not only does nobody care, but if you have such a
garnish, you should have offered to cook it and bring it.
3. Major announcements about "dropping the bomb".
What equates to a little "liquid courage" plus a little known fact
and a captive audience? DISASTER. Keep the divorce notice, information about
the arrest, or the fact that you are about to file for bankruptcy another time.
Plus, just because the family is together doesn't mean it's time to reveal
family secrets, like the fact that you found out through DNA testing that your
father had no chance of being your. biological father. Big news that will have
a profound and possibly negative impact on the family shouldn't be the focus of
an event that was meant to be about happiness, unity, and celebration.
4. Challenge the personal habits of a family member.
"Are you eating this?" I thought you were on a diet? You're not a
nutritionist, so don't worry about what other people are eating. They may have
worked really hard to produce those extra calories. The same goes for comments
on clothing choices, hairstyles and anything that can hurt.
5. Rephrase old arguments, mistakes or grievances. The
holidays are a time for happiness and thanksgiving, not for grievances and old
wounds. Focus on keeping the peace, not renewing battles. If you need to talk
to someone about a past mistake, take the time to talk to them privately and
one-on-one.
6. Become the “parent” of someone else's child. Trust me,
either your cousin knows her baby is a jerk or she ignores him so much that she
won't believe you when you tell her her baby is a jerk. Either way, raise your
own kids and be thankful that this boy is not yours.
7. Any conversation you are about to start requires sarcasm
to express your point of view. There is no room for sarcasm at the festive
dining table. There's no point in it other than giving yourself instant
gratification and snatching a piece of the person you're giving it to. If you
have somewhat to say, be honest. If the holiday table isn't for you, pick a
time and place to have a one-on-one conversation with the person who needs to
hear what you have to say.